Monthly Archives: September 2012

The Moment I Surrendered.

It has been just about a year since I stopped “dieting”. I remember standing at my kitchen counter last November, looking out the window, and saying to myself “I surrender!” I accepted myself and my physical appearance. I breathed a sigh of relief. I was tired. I was tired of beating myself up. I was tired of feeling guilty. I was tired of failing. I just wanted to live my life and enjoy each day without thinking about exercising, eating, not eating, eating too much, or eating to much of the wrong things.

Here’s the thing. I’ve been “dieting” since 1999. Here is a photo I took today of my “diet library”. And believe me when I say…my library was much bigger. I got rid of a pile this size about five years ago. You know, more diet books and fitness magazines that clearly didn’t work for me. I was still yo-yo’ing. It didn’t take long to accumulate more.

My “Diet” Library

I also have a snapshot of my home gym equipment. The photo doesn’t even show the treadmill in the family room, the Wii Fit, the weighted hula-hoop, the chin-up bar, work-out videos, exercise ball, and yoga mats. Then, there’s the “slam-man”, the Vitamix, the boxing gloves, expensive running shoes, sports bras and other fitness “attire”. Because seriously, you can’t work out properly if your clothes don’t look good (insert sarcasm).

Work-Out Room

I came across this YouTube channel about a month or two ago – I was quite intrigued. Robin Phipps Woodall wrote the book “Weight-Loss Apocalypse”. Her videos’ were so captivating I decided to order her book. She tells her client’s like it is. She’s not afraid to drop the f-bomb either. I have had quite a number of “ah-ha” moments while reading her book, and watching her videos. Thanks to her research, and theories, I have come to understand that my problem wasn’t that I couldn’t lose weight, or that I didn’t know how to lose weight. My problem was that I identified myself by the way my body looked and my addiction to trying to lose weight. Over the years, I never addressed the fact that I was emotionally connected to food and dieting. As a society, we have greated the visage that it is normal to be gluttonous. Quite simply, I over-ate and always felt I then needed to punish myself by food deprivition or intense exercise. The moment I “surrendered”, was the moment I was able to finally move forward.

I continue to maintain my weight after following the protocol in January. In fact, this morning, I weighed in at 153.5lbs. I don’t weight myself everyday anymore, I haven’t weighed daily for months. I eat when I am hungry. I don’t feel guilty when I eat something I “shouldn’t”, because I only eat when I’m hungry. I’m FREE…and it feels so DAMN GOOD!!

Everyone has a story and a different relationship with food. Are you emotionally connected to food? Do you chronically diet and exercise? Can you surrender?

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